Dear EX Boyfriend

I know I said I wouldn’t write to you because lets be honest you don’t deserve this but I will write to you anyways.Where I’m a year after you telling me you had moved on with your life 6 months after our breakup.I’m in a better place.I’ve falling in and out of love with myself ,I’ve changed and I’m aware of my skills and my weakness I’m still moving.I feel I’ve had a relaspe I’ve felt insecure with my wieght I feel fat again and I hate the feeling of hating my body.I’m not happy with it I feel gross and disgusting at times.This is me being real about how I feel I know sometimes I don’t take care my body the way I should because I don’t.I stress easily sometimes and I often think about the way you’ve left me feeling insecure.I go to therapy on a regular and it helps it keeps me clam I’m still learning to cope with life.I don’t think about you at all  like I once did which is great.I’ve been falling for someone and that feeling is great and has a also been a struggle in the terms of the whole you left in me,not in my heart,because I think did I really love you.A part of me did but not the love I really wanted.I’m talking about the wholes you left in my soul, my body and my self esteem.I sometimes get angry that you had it so much easier after the split and as amazing as things are  now,I’m still struggling.It’s not like we broke up and my life magically got better.It didn’t,I often feel like a faliure at life because I struggle with my weight, my insecurities and sometimes money.My brother’s girlfriend the other day said I cant be with out people it really bugged me to the core.I was like what is she right.Then I thought fuck you!!!!.

Anyways I’m happy aside from all these thing that stress me.I wonder if I’m so happy I believe I don’t deverse this happiness.I dread the day you sent me that two page list with things that suck about me.I hate it.I hope no one ever writes you a list like that.Ugh I’M ALSO bicthing in complaing because I think I just ate some fries that are making me feel really sick!!!!

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