2 years later ….

Holla it’s 2019 and considering the upgrade I payed on this cite.My goal is to minimum upload a blog post once a week .I know it was never about the numbers but man I had a little community on my old blog regulars that actually read my stuff here it’s a little more quite.I often find myself feeling like I’m writing to the massive silent out there.

So yesterday I turned two years of being single and if you wanna get technical we know I broke that a while ago but it’s more of holly saint Jesus water it’s been officially two years since my three relationship ended and even though I hated the process I can say that it’s pretty amazing. Two years wow,I can’t believe it.Im in a way better place that I was two years ago when it all ended.Im beyond grateful my ex decided to end things back in Jan 2 of 2017.Even though I think he was immature and kinda of doshe for doing it the way he did it I’m glad it got done .I secretly had been hoping he’d break up with me when it actually happened tho man it took a toll on me.

Things I’ve learned since my three relationship ended.

1 you realize who your true friends are,After my breakup I lost some friends and became close to others but at the end only my true friends remained I was so excited I had become close to new people ,but my real friends stayed with me thru the storms of post breakup feels.

2you find yourself,this was a struggle I don’t think I’ve fully found myself but my awareness is high as heck and the rediscovery of who you are is pretty amazing

3crying is okay,even when you think it’s never gonna end,I was frustrated when I kept seeing time tick and I was still crying

4.Its not a competition who moves on faster,sigh it sure felt like it but I learned that no matter how fast my ex moved it didn’t take away from what we had and no matter how many times I felt I was losing at the breakup game I’m grateful I moved and healed at my own rate.

5.You really do become close to new people,after the breakup I wanted to be around different people ,people that didn’t know my ex and basically I didn’t have to be reminded of him.It helped a lot but some of these friends only stayed in that season to help me heal but others made me stronger and are still here seeing where I’m at now .

6.Dont start dating until your really ready.I don’t wanna say I “dated” like my friend Lupe says I hungout with people.About 6months after my breakup I hungout with someone it was cool it reminded me that I was still alive and Also told me was still not ready.

7.life literally changes,when your in a long relationship everything has a routine and everything has an expectation.When it ends it’s like you lose a part of yourself but it’s also an amazing fuck I get to change my life.Im not suppose to live my life having chipotle and Wingstop dates forever (nothing wrong with it but you know what I mean)

8 self love 🥰 and healing it was about month 8 I hit rock bottom but month 10 I loved myself like I never experienced before me being me working out etc I still though about my ex but I was in a way better space.When I found self love and I felt the healthiest and prettiest girl ever.I was taking care of myself mentally and physically.Thats really amazing.

9Go to therapy if you need to,I seeked therapy for many reasons but the main one was I was broken I honestly felt that therapy was gonna get me and my ex back together in a month tops .Yeah that shit didn’t work but therapy taught me so much more.It healed pain, from previous relationships and helped me navigate this journey of post breakup life.

10 travel gives you perspective ,I traveled less when I was going thru the breakup I travel a tad more last year because I was bored but I also enjoyed it more because I was free.traveling will not make you forget the heartache,but when you heal traveling is so much more amazing.

11.Realizing you moved on.For me realizing I moved on came in waves first one was wanting to move on because I felt I had no choice ,yeah that shit didn’t work.When I knew I moved on was when I had no feelings for it and it came probably about a year after.Even when I had moved on I was in denial about it like how is it that I had moved on a part of me me didn’t wanna leave that journey I had been on post breakup.But it hit me on a starry night walking ,talking about what my life was like in the present time and bam I said to myself I’ve moved on.

12 last one but I can literally keep going,falling for someone new. It was such a good feeling to feel the feels again but for some reason they were better and more special than ever before literally like trumpets playing music in the background.

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